Friday, January 28, 2005 ++
SOOOO VEXED. yucks. matt went to thailand today. sooo sad, no-one to hug me anymore. oh wells i still got
that pig.
Went for that dental thing, mould my teeth, had X-ray, not fun at all. Thought i couldnt make it for the burial ceremony, but at last i did. hey, why am i always in a rush? maybe i cannot estimate my time well. phew.
check out this pic.. i lurve
He was cold. never mind, "not appropriate to talk." i miss matt. hur hur. i wanna play with his hair, oh his hair extention thing dropped so he's kinda like botak. haha. that's funny.
Its the 28th and i still havent got my pay. Its soooo not cool man. Now i'm hating it.
spent the whole afternoon screaming... "i'm not okay... i'm not o-fucking-kay..." i'm really not okay. nobody cares. o wells. too bad its night time and my parents are around if not i'll still be screaming.
Well if you wanted honesty, That's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks,
For photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but still don't know what they mean
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look!
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
wish you were really here listening to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this I'm okay!
(Trust me.)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
7:41 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2005 ++
the song i wrote, no chance to sing it for u, reading the lyrics is good enough. that's if u ever read it lah...
You lifted me so high only to let me fall
You were never there
So tell me honestly have you really loved me
then why is it so hard just to say "i love you"
tell me what will it take for you to be mine
it's just 3 words that i want you to say
tell me what will it take for me to be yours
it's you i want (i'm so sure)
is that too much to ask for?
Your eyes theylook so good
Your smile they seem so perfect
your kisses make my fly but i find myself dropping
so tell me honestly have you really loved me
they why is it so hard just to say...
(chorus)
Late in the afternoon i tried to reach you
i ended up sitting by the stairs waiting for you to say
"i love you".
so lucky, first person i wrote a song for. But never mind, broke my heart like the others did. Dont blame you, just my luck. Hate you?! i havent that much courage. i still need courage to move on. Never mind. I say if you're reading this, thank you for opening up my heart. u totally melt it. bleah~ i'm a bitch beat it.
9:42 AM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005 ++
green juicy grass carpetted the earth. the blazing father sun shone down onto the ground. i was at the park. i was tempted to lay down and feel the heat in my face. and so i did. heh heh. and it feels good, then i felt an itch and it spread all over my body. i'm sensitive to grass. i ran home and took a bathe. hoho, but it was fun. yeah i like...
8:11 AM
Saturday, January 22, 2005 ++
Was woke up by my mother, uh-huh... was such a painful chore to just wake up. But guess it was all worth it, had dim sum for breakfast. SUMPTIOUS.
Did i mention about my cousins from malaysia is here? ok they are here. Noisy, adorable children. I love them all.
So i had dim sum@ marina then we went to the science center. Well, its my first time there so i'm a stranger to that place. So, the omni-theatre wasnt that great, i think its the movie. Its about some old lion mating and then his territory got taken over by a younger lion. But then, Force of Nature looks good. Its about earthquake and stuff. woot. i like.
Then we headed to marina south for some steamboat thing. Woooow, the people there are so terrifying. haha, u dont wanna see them snatching for crabs like they havent tried crabs for all their donkey lives. But it was nice. heh heh, had crabs, prawns, chicken, quail egg,fish balls, buns.
Then we went to sheng siong, getting things for tomorrow's bbq. hur hur, its so cool!! Wine and good food yeah baby the best bbq ever. Lurve it babeh. but i have to work.
Work, havent gotten my pay. This is so not cool. heh. i'm broke. haha. yes i am terribly broke. haha. And we're so not happening. oh wells...
[think twice before u touch my girl, come around i'll let u feel my bum! come around come around NO MORE]
8:57 AM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 ++
Yes its still 18th of january. I thought it'll be nice to tell what i did for the whole new year so far.
New Year's eve was a blast. Went to the sentosa beach party thing, but it wasnt that fantastic actually its all the tsunami's fault! No fireworks No foam nothing nice actually. The crowd was the most horrible crowd i've ever seen. I didnt know singaporeans are such a bore. These people attend parties without knowing they have to dance. So i spent the first few hours of new year with AMY, SZE MIN, KAREN, CAROL and TIM(he's trying to woo carol u see.)
Was suppose to work on new year's day but i didnt turn up. heh who cares? i dont.
Then, i know a new friend, a bloke called jason. well not that jason i was talking about the other time its some other guy called JAson. Nice fella just abit... hmm i dont know how to explain it. oh wells good fello.
Then, haha i saw nicholas. Recently i realise that i've been pronouncing his name wrongly. it suppose to be NIC-O-LAS. well i went NICLAS. But its not my fault, everyone pronounces it like that. I bet he himself too. hoho. Well i couldnt recognise him (he was the one who spotted me.) yes, nice fella. Its been a long time man. I think he's now a big rockstar right? I just read his blog and learn about him with his recordings and stuff. So far so good. its good to have dreams.
Then, i went out with matt. haha. like finally. You should see his hair, it was totally a sex hair. haha. Well that's what he calls his hair.
nice pic eh. haha. its me and matt. haha.sex hair, i think i should get one too.
Phew well lastly, i guess a little romance is good for health. HE (i'll let you guess who.) is a nice bloke*hint*
He just had food poisoning yesterday. He is not like the others. He is fine... i guess He hadnt contact me yet. Yes. HE.
4:54 AM
++
Okay, today is the 18th of january. Rights let's see, i havent got my pay yet and my mum is bugging me to quit. Even if i got paid so what? My fucking mother only thinks of money. She expects me to give everyone hongbao as a token of filial piety. BULLSHIT. She thinks i'm earning millions.Mad ass. If i am to give everyone a hongbao, i rather not work. I havent got what i wanted yet.
i want to have nice hair, colour it, get my red nail polish, my red lipstick and yeah most importantly get this stupid computer done. its soo irritating to use a computer which is not working as good as it suppose to be. And nobody is going to sponser any of that to me, so i have to use the money i've earned to sastisfy my wants.
Okay, i'm sooo angry with my mother. She expects me to pay everything. Fucked ass. Transport fare to my own expenses, i think she really thinks i'm earning thousands and millions, HEY MOM I'M NOT! AND IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE YOU OR ANYONE MONEY, THINK AGAIN. COS I'M NOT GONNA.
This whole pay thing is drving me crazy. I like my job and nothing and no-one can tell me what to do. And the household is getting quiet like everyone is treating the home like a hostel. For your information i'm not getting along with my brother. He's such a jerk. JERK. argh. so irritating to be in the house. I wanna move out out OUT-
4:15 AM
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